My friends told me “Zero carb! That’s not a good idea”
But I was equipped! I read articles on the internet, there was a Facebook group too. I had all I needed to legitimize my quest.
Don and I were going to go on a 30 day zero carb diet.
We grabbed the simple list of allowed foods
How hard could it be?
Our first stop was Left Bank Butchery and Reverence Farms
I was inspired! Reverence Farm respects the animals, growing them in a healthy environment. Left Bank Butchery is full of fresh local meat, you can see them process the meat through a glass window. Perfect.
Healthy meat, healthy consumer.
With arms full of meat I was ready for our new adventure.
Eat LOTS of fat, some protein and then drink water.
It was a GREAT success! Don LOVED it!! He wonders where this diet has been all his life.
Every morning is bacon and eggs, lunch is leftover meat, snacks are from a mason jar of ham pieces covered with salt, dinner is meat (often hamburger) Don has found his lifetime diet.
Meanwhile, my face was turning green from nausea. BLEAH.
If I had to eat one more drop of grease I was going to die.
I am a zero carb failure.
I need what I call … FOOD …
I cheated, I ate celery.
What bliss! Oh, how fresh! The celery brought hope back to my spirit!
You know it’s got to be a HATEFUL diet when your cheat food is CELERY!
With that cheat door open I endlessly searched the internet for zero carb options.
I found out that to be zero carb you can cook your meat this way or that way.
You can add the zero carb cream cheese or the really expensive zero carb raw milk cheese.
Let’s see, you can have bacon on bacon, or maybe ham and bacon, or as most advised a porterhouse steak every night for dinner. Full fat, full flavor.
By the end of the first week, there wasn’t a lot of hope for me, I cheated some more. I let in kale.
Once again, praising God for His beautiful creation of kale. What relief!
The second week I was content to eat some protein, some fat and a huge pile of kale and celery. During the day I would drink straight cream, eat tablespoons of kefir made from cream, a couple of slices of cheese and then cheat eating celery sticks.
I drank quarts of mint tea.
Week three I was a NUT. I was panicked, looking for what I call food. I hated this diet and told everyone that came near me.
I started counting the days until July 1st.
I wanted SUGAR.
I wanted apples, peanut butter, tortilla chips, humus. I wanted my plain ole tea back … 1 cube of sugar and a dash of milk.
I wanted my afternoon cookie. I felt like the lioness in the zoo cage, pacing back and forth, searching, searching to find food but the bars of the diet confined me.
I cheated some more. I added avocado. Once again a semblance of sanity came and I began to calm my nerves.
During this diet, I have never gotten a surge of energy or a wash of clear thinking.
My legs cramp at night. OW!! That hurts like crazy. HELP! Back to the internet for my counsel … eat more salt. Sigh. More salt.
I already take magnesium, I already drink plenty of liquids, I have increased my salt but still, nighttime leg cramping.
Another difficulty is being light-headed and feeling like I am going to black out. Yeah, real nice.
If I understand correctly, according to my internet counseling, my body has not made the full transition to fat burning for energy.
If you would like to learn how to burn fat here is some … internet counseling … Ketosis
Week 4 was just waiting. Eating my avocado, my egg salad, my piles of bok choy with celery and kale with a bit of meat, I watched the calendar.
This last few days, surprisingly, happily, my sugar cravings are … WHAT? … gone.
After that long battle, I think the desired effect has been accomplished.
I’m not a zero carb girl, never will be, but my appetites have changed.
I learned that in the past when I am searching for something to eat, I pick up that quick apple and peanut butter and I feed the sugar monster. Don’t get me wrong, I love God’s food He created but I have had a tendency to always go to a sugar to be satisfied.
My body has learned to be satisfied with different foods.
My new favorite … it was a cheat food … avocado with a tablespoon of salsa. MMM!!! I can be happily full on that.
Where do I go from here?
Don and I are determined not to go back into that sugar mess we suffered to get out of.
For the next month, we will have about 20 net carbs. We will, hopefully, further train our appetites to be satisfied with low sugar foods.
My first food after this HORRID diet?
MMM … ONE piece of toast smothered in butter with a dab of jam … 11 carbs and WORTH IT.